


Metamorphosis

by felicitylanding



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Naruto
Genre: Adopted this from a friend on FF.net, Adults are weird in this, CrossPosting with FF.net, It's amusing, No!Chakra Sakura, Not really realistic adults, Parody, Replacing Sakura with an OC, She uses magic, Slytherin OC - Freeform, They are going to be babies for a long time, Toddler Years
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-10
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-14 15:43:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 20,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20194708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felicitylanding/pseuds/felicitylanding
Summary: Join Prisca Caleum on her adventure in the Naruto universe as Haruno Sakura. No one prepared the shinobi nations for a kunoichi like this.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a story that I adopted from my IRL friend. I've been trying to keep up and write for it, but between trying to make sense of her insanity and to make the timeline right (along with my own projects, life, school, and work)... Well, it's taking longer than I had hoped.

I can't remember much of my death, I remember the day of my funeral and every day before my death. I remember my name, my family, and friends. I remember all that I had sacrificed. _"Grace and mercy be with you. We have come here to remember before God, our sister Prisca Caelum; to give thanks for her life; to commend her to God our merciful redeemer and judge; to commit her body to be buried, and to comfort one another in our grief."_

I was a Slytherin, but not like Draco or Pansy. I was a Slytherin who died on the light side of the war. I remember that I was searching for some way to lessen the causalities of any ally that my charge would have. _"Here Rests Prisca O. Caleum. The Returning Marauder's Pride. 1979 – 1991. Companion, Loyal Friend, Loving Daughter, Caring Sister, Outstanding Student, Quickest Dueler and Tactician, Most Cunning Witch of Our Time; We Love You."_

I remember the shocks throughout my life; the scorn I received for making my choices to protect the few true friends I had made in my first three years. I remember the shocks I gave; when I willingly went to the Yule Ball with Potter, when I petitioned and won the rights to become Hermione Granger's magical guardian after the whispers of Voldemort had returned. _"I, Prisca Olivia Caleum, swear to my magic that I am of sound mind and body to prepare this will. If any of the Order members or DA members are watching this, then… then I've succeeded and… And I'm no longer part of this world…"_

I remember when I first held Ovid in my arms after mother had delivered him. I remember erasing the memory of the child from my family after father had died in my arms. I remember swallowing my pride and begging for Weasley to protect him, to treat him as a child who needs love. _"… And for any pain that brings you, I am sorry. I will not go into any details of how there are multiple bodies of me across the battlefield, only know that I did fulfill my sworn duty to Hogwarts. That I would do everything in my power, everything in my knowledge to protect and serve the student body of Hogwarts."_

I remember many aspects of my life. Just not how I died. Or rather, which death I had died. I read that it would be one of the side effects of creating the potion. After all, I did died a thousand times within one battle. I have only one regret. _"Pwide go bye-bye? Teddy miss Pwide." "She was the Slytherin that I had always wished to teach." "There we go, daffodils. That suits the little Lion better than those boring white flowers." "I never did get to say thank you for petitioning for me." "We'll raise him right for you, Prisca. He'll always remember you."_

I got attached.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 7 months old (October in Konoha)

The mystery of death had been something I had always thought about during the time after the rise of Voldemort. I had always thought you would be returned to your loved ones who cherished you or that you would float aimlessly in peace without feeling burdens placed on society; not once did it cross my mind that I would be in pain surrounded by a bright light with voices speaking a language that I was sure I never spoke before…

"Jiraiya, why on earth do you still have the baby in your arms?" Exhausted, I forced myself to open my eyes to stare up at an ugly creature. An ugly creature who was staring back at me. An ugly creature who was starting to put on a bright disgusting smile and coo at me.

"Because she's just the prettiest baby I have ever seen," he says as he starts to rock me in his arms. I had to stop and think for a moment. I'm swaying back and forth because he's rocking me in his arms. He's also talking to me as if I'm a baby who's in the crook of his arms. "Yes, you are. You are the prettiest baby I have ever seen in my entire life. I could just eat you up, yes I could. I could just gobble you up; gosh, you are so cute."

Now, I know I'm short; but there is no way that I am short enough to be rocked in the crook of someone's arms… Unless they're like Hagrid, but there's no one like Hagrid. I tried to sit up and noticed that I could even move my arms. Looking down at my body, I wanted to laugh hysterically until I cried as I saw that I was indeed in a baby's body.

"Jiraiya, what are you doing?" I'm seriously in a baby's body. In the crook of someone's arms. The ugly thing looked away from me as I tried to store away the information to go over it at a different point. I looked up at the ugly thin-Well, compared to the six years spent in the Slytherin's girl's dorm with Pansy and Daphne… I guess he's not _that_ ugly. I guess.

"Trying very hard to make sure that the prettiest baby in the world doesn't call back the scary, mean, old ugly hag to come in here and upsetting everyone." He ground out, while desperately holding onto that bright smile. It made me want to prank him. Like, like, I had someone sort of Marauder's senses going off screaming that I pull a prank.

"You mean Counselor Takahaki?"

I mean, I do believe it's unavoidable. This... This Ugly Thing needs to be pranked.

"That's what I said." I laughed, gaining the attention of both men. I stopped when they both started to smile and stared at them with a blank look on my face. Which made the wrinkly thing sigh and turn back to the thing.

"Did the medic say anything about any effects being exposed to the Kyuubi has done?"

"Sensei, it's more than just exposed. Somehow this little one survived being crushed by that monster. She also said that the paralyze seal would wear off in the next couple hours and that little Sakura would be roaming around like she usually does."

"There is no one for her, then?"

"No, sensei. I was thinking of adopting her as my own."

"Jiraiya…" The wrinkly thing sighed again. For some reason, I couldn't stand it. I just left a world that I was alone in fighting for little innocent ones to survive. I started to cry, startling the two men.

"Oh no, oh no… Shh, come on, Sakura-chan. If you cry louder than the scary, mean, ugly hag will come back. Shhh." I felt the buildup of my magic, which made me stop for a moment. My eyes were wide as the thing sighed in relief. Inwardly cackling, I pushed my magic.

_Sonorous._

I started to cry again. Expect it wasn't at the level that it should be in volume, I almost wanted to stop. I would have too if the situation didn't go from excitement to amusement. "SHI-"

"Jiraiya-sama that is a baby in your arms. Watch your language!" Well, it's loud enough to get the hag that thing wanted to avoid. Pulling and pushing at my magic, I tried again. Although I didn't need to recast the spell, I was pleased when the volume my of cries went up higher.

"Sensei make her stop!" Even if I wasn't having fun and being relieved that I had my magic like I would stop crying for the thing. He wasn't even putting in an effort to make me stop crying. "Oh for fuc-"

"Jiraiya-sama!"

"Don't give me that look! She's a little devil disguised as an angel! She's wailing on purpose!"

"Jiraiya-sama!"

"WHAT?! It's true! She is! She was fine before you even entered sensei's office anyways. Sensei, how do I get her to stop? She's shattering my eardrums!"

"Sakura is hungry, Jiraiya-sama. Give her this." So, thing decided to thrust a bottle in my face… Missing my mouth and shoving the bottle in my cheek. In the background, I hear someone slap their face. The tingling of my magic grew as I pulled again.

_Sonorous._

"No! Come on, princess. Please, shh, shh. Sensei, help me!" Two old hands with lines of age descended towards me. As a person who had died multiple deaths in a battle against a wrinkly bag of bones called Voldemort who had his head so far up his arse that he didn't know left from right. In my situation, thanks to a one-eyed pirate named Alastor Moody; anything and everything that didn't call me adorable and a princess was a threat. "GAH! No! You! You don't get to touch her! You made it worse, now her face is leaking and she's still screaming!"

"Jiraiya-sama! I have helped raise four grandchildren. I would think I know how to silence a crying toddler."

"Not this one! She doesn't like you! Her face is leaking! Besides, I found her. Finders keepers and all that business!"

"Give me the child."

"What part of 'no' do you not understand, hag? You're not getting my princess." If I was anyone else and I wasn't scared that I would be taken away from the childish thing, I would probably be laughing. Well, you know, that was before they decided the issue of who gets to hold me is solved by whoever wins the tug of war game by winning the rope, which just happened to be me.

Fond memories of practically hiding behind Professor Snape in the fourth year as Blaise and Theo ganged up on me trying to figure out who would be a better date to the Yule Ball, never mind the fact that I already had a date.

"Both of you stop it this instant! Honestly, I expected more of the both of you. Grown adults fighting over a crying child while neither of you actually try to calm the child." I stopped crying and looked at the wrinkly thing in awe. It was like looking at an older version of Professor Snape. Thing and I turned to the door when someone coughed to gain attention.

A very irritated woman holding a black-haired baby was standing in the doorway. The woman was very pretty and the baby gained more of the mother's traits that the fathers. With all the smiles and the cooing that the baby gave in my direction as it attempted to make small talk in odd noises at my person. Next to the pretty woman and her annoying baby were two clones. A big clone which I dub as an ugly thing and the clone of the ugly thing. Both were staring at me, as I blinked at them several times. The clone looked to be about six or seven. Weren't six or seven-year-old children supposed to be hyper and scary cheerful and all that jazz?

"Mikoto-chan! Tell me your secrets!"

I looked back at the ugly thing that was sneering at my non-threatening, small and fragile person. Which made to proceed to bring back my magic again and continue with my experiments of making myself a general nuisance. Scrunching my face up, building up the crocodile tears, cue the soft whimper…

_Sonorous_.

"Oh no… Not again!"

Oh, well, at least I have it at an acceptable level now. Did that window just crack? Wonderful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 8 months old (November in Konoha)

Green eyes glared into frustrated grey eyes. A battle of wills that Jiraiya was sure he wouldn't have to deal with until the girl's teenage years have happened for the past month. From clothes to toys to food, Jiraiya should have known that any child he fathered or claimed would be opinionated.

But this?!

"Sakura-hime," he had been reduced to begging. He was begging an eight-month-old toddler to wear clothes. He sighed and brought the kimono to his eyes. It was a cute kimono; it would bring out his princess' beautiful jade eyes... if she would just put on the stupid thing.

"No. No, no, no, NO!" Jiraiya cringed as the volume increased. He learned that the girl would be getting her way no matter what would happen because of how loud she could scream.

"Sakura-hime, don't you want to see your Mikoto-ba-chan?"

Defiant jade eyes met helpless grey for a few moments before Jiraiya sighed and put away the brown kimono picking up a white dress. It had an emerald green sash. "Would Sakura-hime like to wear this one?"

Sakura giggled and clapped her hands. The man sighed as he tugged over and started to dress her in the clothes that she approved of. It's been an interesting month two had together; wrinkly old people fighting the Hokages on whether or not Sakura should be able to live with Jiraiya or go into the orphanage with the other children who lost parents in the Kyuubi attack.

That was ended the moment they tried to take me away and Sakura started screaming for her 'chichi'. Apparently, it was agreed that Jiraiya could keep her, but only if she were to be with an approved family during the time he is outside of the village. "Alright, all set; hello my pretty Sakura-hime. Don't you look just so cute!"

Instead of cooing back at him like regular babies, I decided to greet him every time he talks to me like that... which is every time he speaks a word to me. Using the pincer method, as my brain and my body have yet to sync with each other; I grabbed his nose and pinched him... hard. The screams could have made birds fly away.

* * *

Jiraiya sighed as he slipped off his shoes, carrying the sleeping pinked hair girl into the house that held too many memories. The pink-haired girl, no, the pinked haired menace, had spent the entire time at the Uchiha household glaring and smacking the youngest Uchiha boy. However, when he attempted to leave the child at the Uchiha household overnight.

Jiraiya sighed as he tucked the young girl into her bed. He turned to move away only to be stopped by a tug on his sleeve; turning back to the child, he chuckled at her as she tried to keep him in place by her.

_"Chichi, no! No! Chichi!"_

Jiraiya picked up the child and stood. Craddling the young pink-haired girl to his chest, he shifted so he could fully sat on the bed. The girl was making it harder for him to leave the village with all of the pullings on his heartstrings. "Mou, Sakura-hime... Chichiue has a lot of work to do outside of the village, but it doesn't mean that he'll leave you with the Uchiha clan forever and ever. I can't bring you out of the village because then you'll get hurt, pretty princess."

Unknown to Jiraiya was the jade green eyes that peeked up at the sleeping Jiraiya. Sakura stared up at the male she claims as her father, biting her lip. She snuggled back into his warm embrace reflecting on the day that they had at the Uchiha clan.

* * *

_"Sakura-hime has arrived!" Jiraiya announced as he swings his little princess off his shoulders. Mikoto giggled at the face that the little girl was making at her father. "Sakura-hime has arrived to play with her Mikoto-oba and Sasuke-kun."_

_"Chichi, no." Sakura glared at the mere thought of the stupid little Uchiha baby._

_"But, Sakura-hime~" He whined as Sakura opened her arms to Mikoto who smiled and took the young girl from the stone-faced Jiraiya. Mikoto giggled as Sakura babbled to her about her day._

_Moments later, Sakura and Sasuke were put in the playpen that was moved to be in arm reaching distance if Sakura were to display her dislike of little Sasuke. Jiraiya and Mikoto were drinking tea as they discussed the plans of Sakura becoming Mikoto's ward so that Jiraiya could leave the village to take care of his spy network. "No! No!"_

_The two adults looked over to the playpen before shooting forward to pull apart the two toddlers."Sakura-hime! You can't hit people you don't like without reason! Especially if you're going to be staying here when Chichi is out of the village!"_

_Sakura stopped her struggling in Jiraiya's arm with a look of horror on her face. Jiraiya sighed._

_It wasn't until much later, that Sakura fully understood the words that her Chichi was saying as he tried to leave her in the house with the Uchiha to become accustomed to the Uchihas. It resulted in Sakura crawling after Jiraiya screaming, _ _"Chichi, no! No! Chichi!"_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 9 months old (December in Konoha)

Apparently, hitting Stupid Thing until he lets go of my person is now punishable by leaving me with Mini-Thing and Older Weird Thing. I nibbled on the now bright red and gold kunai as Older Weird Thing bugged Mini-Thing for answers. "So little cherry, bashed your brother until he lost consciousness and you want to know if I can take you two to the park?"

"I do not like repeating myself, Shisui." Liar, you repeat yourself all the time with me. Mini-Thing needs a lot of lessons. Lessons on why he shouldn't steal toddler's toys, why he shouldn't wake toddler's up to try and smuggle them onto missions, why he shouldn't give a toddler a real kunai and place said toddler next to his baby brother, and mainly, why he shouldn't be interested in a nine-month-old baby toddler who is not related to him.

"Wouldn't you want to go to the hospital and check up on your brother?" Yes, yes let's go to the hospital where I can cause chaos for Uglier Thing and Cheerful Woman, but then Cheerful Woman would give me the death hug because I was the "so adorable, Sakura-hime." Okay, new plan, we do not go anywhere near the hospital. Let's go to the other side of the village, far away from the hospital.

"Sakura-hime is more entertaining than the hospital smells." How am I more interesting than seeing the condition of Stupid Thin-Oh. Never mind, I can see where this is going myself.

"You have a point, there. But it's little Sasuke-Did you just call her 'Sakura-hime?' Like the way that obaa-san calls her?"

"She does not respond without the title. Hahaue says that Sakura-hime will recognize her name without the title, but she responds only to her name with the title until she is three years old."

"So, jii-san calling her and her ignoring him is because she doesn't respond without the title?" Old Weird Thing started to snicker as he packed up the blankets, clothing, diapers, and other toys into the pink baby bag.

"I believe I already stated my aversion of repeating myself, Shisui." It's not that I don't respond to my 'name.' It's the fact that Uglier Thing's face is funny to see when he realizes that he needs to call me 'hime' to receive any attention from a nine-month-old toddler. At least when Cheerful Woman calls my name I respond.

I think you have a death wish if you didn't respond to Cheerful Woman though.

I can see the headline now, 'Idiot Decides to be Dumber than Stupid Thing!'

"Itachi, I don't think you see the hilarious situation here. Jii-san has to call someone, who is not royalty, who is not an Uchiha of higher rank, who is not a person older or wiser or stronger than him by the title 'hime.' I find this funny, so excuse me while I laugh." Mini-Thing sighs, as Old Weird Thing starts to laugh. He then walks over to me and attempts to take my toy kunai away from me. I wonder how Old Weird Thing reacts to a wailing baby.

I bet that would ruin his day at the park trying to chat up some females. I tightened my grip on my toy kunai as Mini-Thing picked up the toy, and myself as well. "No. Mine."

Needless to say, when I female toddler says the words 'no' and 'mine.' Old Weird Thing stops laughing and stares in wonder as Mini-Thing attempts to separate my toy kunai from my hands. "Mine! Mine! No! Mine!"

"Itachi, I don't think it's a good idea for you to try and take away cherry's toy kunai. I've heard the rumors about her cries. I want them to stay rumors. I know you have this thing about your younger 'siblings' paying the utmost attention to you, but Sasuke is a boy. Cherry's a girl with a good working pair of strong lungs that shatter eardrums." Tears of frustration build-up, I think I'm going to use a sonorous spell to amplify Mini-Thing's mistake to Cheerful woman. After all, she did say make sure Mini-Thing listens.

"She needs to pay attention to where she walks. She cannot do so if she is busy chewing on a toy kunai, Shisui, okaa-san will have our heads if Sakura-hime returns home with a scarp." Mini-Thing had zapped my wrist to assure that I would release my toy kunai. He put my toy kunai into the bag that Cheerful Woman gave Old Weird Thing in case I needed a diaper change or a bottle. I gave Mini-Thing a Severse Snape level 7 glare. A level 7 glare was reserved for Potter and Weasley during Potions in our Fifth Year. It was the Year when Snape found that allowing your students to pair off on their own will do nobody good in potions, especially the room in which he decided to teach said students. Let's just leave it as, a very explosive experience for everyone at Hogwarts.

We haven't learned about taking my things, have we, Mini-Thing? Fine then, we'll have to fix the mistake. We can't let Mini-Thing make mistakes now, can we? Old Weird Thing was already back away from Mini-Thing and me. Mini-Thing gave Old Weird Thing a look that said 'You're afraid of a nine-month baby. You lose.' Old Weird Thing probably wanted to point out that I was a girl with a good working pair of strong lungs that shatter eardrums. "It is not as dreadful as you think, Shisui."

_Sonorous._

"You're right, Itachi. It's not as dreadful as I thought it would be."

I have a strange feeling that I should have taken that nap after lunch instead of seeing how many spells I recall from my life as Prisca Caelum. Mentally, I gave myself yet another pat on the back. I recall everything. Everything except how I died, or maybe it was because I had too many deaths that I couldn't remember? Or do you never remember how you die when you're murdered forty-three times…

"It's much, much worse. Just give her back her toy and get the stroller. She's cranky."

"Hm. She did not have her after lunch nap today."

"No, if she was anything else, she would have hit us with the kunai." Older Weird Thing said while rubbing his temples, plucking me from Mini-Thing's grasp. His hand slipped into the pink baby bag and grabbed the toy kunai. Immediately, I stopped crying.

_Finite Incantum._

"This was what you wanted, cherry?"

I grabbed onto my toy kunai and purred at the feeling of it in my hands again. Chewing on the tip, Old Weird Thing sighed as he shifted me in his arms. My kunai, which was my test subject for most of my spells, had the odd tendency of acting as my focal point for my magic to work on other living beings. Mini-Thing came back rolling the stroller, while Old Weird Thing placed me in the stroller, he asked Mini-Thing, "And what did we learn about cherry today?"


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 10 months old (January in Konoha)

Another month has passed by and my stupid chichi has yet to return. Which means I'm still stuck with the Uchiha family. It's been fun, really it has. But it appears that nothing I do teaches this stupid boy a lesson. In fact, nearly everyone seemed to be enjoying this.

When he returned from the hospital, Stupid Thing was fine. He was back to annoying me and wanting to cuddle that Mikoto-ba-chan was slowly becoming a Squealing Monster. Stupid Thing has said his first word, surprising Mikoto-ba-chan and annoying Uglier Thing. "Sa-ku-ra. Saku-ra. Sa-kura."

Stupid six months Stupid Thing has to say my name, of all people, as his first and apparently only word! Needless to say, Mini-Clone has taken a mission from Mikoto-ba-chan to assure that I don't bash Stupid Thing's head in. He couldn't do 'haha' or 'chichi' or 'aniki'; nope, this Stupid Thing says my name as soon as he sees me. I glared at Stupid Thing from the playpen that I was sitting in, with paper and crayons surrounding me and a very bored looking Older Weird Thing watching me. "Sakura!"

"No." Apparently, he isn't old enough to understand the word, but I'm working on it. Just have to get past Mini-Clone and Mikoto-ba-chan. I picked up a crayon and started writing in English again. It was fun watching the others from trying to figure out what kind of code they think chichi has taught me. "No. No call."

"Sakura."

After learning my name, it is impossible for me to get any time where everyone leaves me alone to practice magic. He wakes up and he calls for me, he eats and he calls for me, he sits in a bouncer across from me and he calls for me; I can't get any alone time! I turned away from the bouncing child and focus on my runes practice. "Oh, come on, Cherry, you should be happy that chibi's saying your name before Itachi's name. It makes you special to chibi."

Is that supposed to mean anything but horror? Stupid Thing thinks I'm special to him! I stared at Old Weird Thing with horror as he started to laugh at my expression. I stood up and walked over to Old Weird Thing, who just raised a brow at me. "You aren't getting out because you'll try and stab chibi."

Is that a challenge? I remembered what Mikoto-ba-chan said about starting to potty train her precious "Sakura-hime" so that she could go to the potty by herself. I smirked. I could get away from Stupid Thing and explore the village if this goes right.

"Potty. Go Potty. Potty. Potty, now." Old Weird Thing's eyes became very similar to dining plates as he plucked me from the pen and dashed towards the bathroom. I gave a smirk to Stupid Thing who was still calling my name when we left the room. Old Weird Thing wouldn't leave the bathroom when I was going to create the mess, "No boys. Girl potty. Go away."

* * *

My attempt to explore the village is not going as planned. I planned to get far away from the Uchihas. That worked. I planned to get to a secluded area. This also worked. What I didn't plan was to land in front of three 13 year olds and an old man. This was actually where my plan started to unravel.

Let's look to the bright side of least I can still apparate?

Uh… I'm making friends? Okay, maybe that's taking thing a little bit too far as I don't think being chased by some 13 year old idiots who wants to make sure I am returned to my caretaker under orders of the old man. I snorted as the three idiots loudly ran past my hiding spot.

Not that I'm complaining or anything, but I'd rather deal with Stupid Thing than have these idiots chase me around town. At least someone would take pity on Stupid Thing, and place a lot of distance between us. "There she is! Get her!"

I giggled as I ran away from the idiots. This is kind of fun, now that I think about it. "Get back here you little brat!"

I stopped in a clearing before I turned around to the three idiots who had the misfortune of having to be ordered to chase me. I pointed my trusty kunai in their direction watching them laugh as I stood defiantly. "Come on little brat, we're going to take you back to your mother."

A flash of an uncaring woman slapping me across the cheek as I stood definitely against her. Another of a woman giving birth followed by a flash of green. I shook my head to clear myself of those thoughts. She's dead, she's not here; "Little Brat-"

"I think we shouldn't call her Little Brat, if we want her to come with us, Kotetsu. If this is who we think it is, then we really shouldn't be calling her a 'brat'."

"Don't be stupid, Izumo. She's just a little brat who doesn't know how to talk properly yet." Excuse me, did he just? I mean, does he really think that I'm just going to skip over there with a smile on my face and let him drag me back to Mikoto-ba-chan? He reached for me, "Come on, you stupid little brat, I want to do something useful instead of chasing your scrawny butt around the village."

Okay now, I _know _he just didn't just call me stupid. My trusty kunai gave a low hum with the magic I built up and I smirked. I was going to show them one of my personal favorites spells that I had rediscovered during the course of my fifth year.

I mean, who in Hogwarts wouldn't want to see Umbridge or the Inquistiorial Squad having their shoes glued to the ground during their chase after DA members? Pity I had to ruin a pair of shoes that day. But, at least they weren't one of my favorite pairs. If they were, they're no longer one of my favorite pairs. See, colloshoo is impossible to get out; even House Elves couldn't get out the gum like substance.

Hmm, that was the same year when I attack Bellatrix Black in the Department of Mysteries before she could hit Sirius Black. The colloshoo worked with that situation too, seeing how Black never noticed it was said. He noticed afterward when he tried to run after Harry to stop him from doing anything too foolish.

**_Colloshoo_**.

"Iruka! Get the brat! We're stuck somehow!"

I turned and saw that I missed one of the three boys who was silently reaching for me. I slapped his hand away from me, "No."

Although, this is a very good warm up, the exercise would come later when I'm running away from Mini-Thing and Old Weird Thing. Using apparition, I twisted away from the three idiots into a different clearing.

* * *

"Gotcha! I got her!" I growled as the boy plucked me off of the ground. He doesn't even know how to hold a toddler. I squirmed and pointed at the ground.

"Down. Down. Down!" The boy who caught me raised an eyebrow and snorted as two other boys came near puffing and panting. "Down. Me, down, now!"

"I think she wants to be put down, Iruka." Merlin, aren't you a regular Captain Obvious! What part of 'Me, down, now' doesn't say I want to be put down! It is official. I have found a boy stupider than Stupid Thing. Stupid Boy can't understand toddler speak. Even Uglier Thing can understand toddler speak!

"I can hear her just fine, teme." I glared at the boys, turning my head I saw a very angry Old Weird Thing running in our direction. Maybe I can get out of this without getting into any trouble at all. Or at least, not a lot of trouble. After all, I'm only a ten-month-old baby, how could I have possibly gotten so far away from the Uchiha grounds all by myself? "Now, we just have to wait for sensei-"

"You! Why did you kidnap Cherry! Do you know how loud Chibi cries when she's not around? You give her back right now!" What was Old Weird Thing name again? Shigeaki? Shiki? Shin? It was 'Shi' something. The three boys that were chasing me around started to stutter out their response. Shinto? Shizuo? Ugh, it's at the tip of my tongue...

"S-s-shisui-san!" That's right! Shisui! Why did I forget that? Oh nevermind, I'll think about that later. "This isn't what it looks like, honest! We can explain!"

"Shisui! Want Shisui, bad man, no put down. Shisui!"

Watching Old Weird Thing's eyes go from black to red makes me kind of wonder if I just put this boy on his death bed, but since he can catch me within three hours I can assume that he'll be fine. I mean, I have no doubts in my mind that Old Weird Thing would really harm him- Was that fire that just came out of his mouth?

Since when was Old Weird Thing able to breathe fireballs the size of Ugly Thing?


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 11 months old (February in Konoha)

I glared at the offensive human who stood a foot away from me. Poking and prodding me as if I were some sort of researching experiment; I understood why Fugaku was glaring at the blind-but-not-blind man. Who wouldn't hate a poking and prodding person who disguises themselves as doctors? The man raised an eyebrow at my glare, a small smirk found his way to his face. My hand had disappeared into my pocket, reaching for the leather of my trusty kunai; Fugaku placed a heavy hand on my shoulder.

I looked up to his scowling face and back to the evil doctor. "Are you saying that she is incapable of forming chakra?"

The evil doctor was no longer smirking at me, but glaring back at Fugaku. He sneered at Fugaku, eyes were all but accusing him of putting me in the position of not possessing any of this 'Chakra'. And I bet you, 'chakra' isn't something I can eat. "No, Uchiha, I did not say she is incapable of forming chakra. I said she does not possess any chakra. She should be dead."

My head whipped back at the blind-but-not-blind soon to be missing a limb, evil doctor. The state of being dead and sent to another world where I must be in the possession of another body that is not my own again, it, well… It didn't sit right with me to go through this process all over again. In fact, I would bet that the moment I am able I would be training to receive any and all training to continue in the state of being alive. "No chakra?"

So, I was right. Chakra wasn't something I could eat. It was something comparable to magic. Or at least that's how I'm going to interpret things as Itachi tried to explain the theory when I said I wanted to eat chakra. That will be a comment that I don't think I'll live down. Ever.

Brighter note, Itachi gave me with a thing called pocky. And, oh sweet Circe, it is amazing. It's basically a biscuit that has been dipped into chocolate. Dimmer note, he gave it to me to distract me from noticing that he and Shisui were kidnapping me from the watchful eye of Mikoto-baba. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was, well until we got to our destination. "Why are we allowing ANBU to come near Ametrasu-sama's gift?"

I have never been more bored in my entire life. These old ugly things that look related to Fugaku remind me of the Wizengamot. In other words, a bunch of people, most of whom are old and wrinkly and _OLD_, who was given too much power that went to their heads and thought the sun rose and set from each other's arse. "Sakura-hime-sama should not be tainted by the filth of ANBU."

"And you are saying that our sons should be?" Fugaku growled at the Old Thing that looks like he could pass as his father. These people need name tags because this is becoming ridiculous to try and figure out who the heck is who in this clan. "Need I remind you that the Police Force is an option for our clansmen to take should they chose not to reach ANBU."

Wait… Fugaku runs the equivalent to Aurors here? I turned and looked at him in awe. He's not insane Mad-Eye moody status? That's amazing. Well, close to amazing I guess. It'd be amazing if he wasn't spineless against his wife. Itachi gave me yet another stick of strawberry cream covered biscuit of amazingness that I am actually sad to say that I am getting sick of... Looking down at the slowly growing pile of projectile sticky strawberry sticks and the not-so-innocent orange book that Shisui had left behind to use the facilities, I grinned. I would be getting my vengeance in dragging me to this boring meeting one way or another.

Opening the vibrant orange book, I gave a soft evil laugh. I wonder if Shisui will notice the sticky strawberry coated pages and point fingers at Itachi, as Itachi apparently hordes the snack. "The Kohana Council demands that Ibiki looks over Sakura-hime-sama to see if she is a demon in a child's body. If she is not, we all know what those old bats on the Counsel will want. She'll be-"

"The Council will not touch a hair on Sakura-hime-sama's head because she is under our protection by Mikoto-sama. Furthermore, her father is the Third's precious Jiraiya-sama. The only ones who refuse to let that happen are the old bats and the Hyuugas. If Ibiki seeing anything out of character of that of a child, who knows what the decision would do to Mikoto-sama." The group of older men shudders as they remember the headstrong kunoichi when she was angry, I merely stuck out my tongue in concentration as my hands and the book became stickier with each page.

"My wife will not be pleased if a single strand of hair is misplaced on her head."

"Which is why we shouldn't allow Sakura-hime-sama to go anywhere near ANBU. We all know that Danzo has planted his spies within the walls of the ANBU. Sakura-hime-sama still has not controlled her gift and can easily be manipulated," EXCUSE ME? I can be what? Glaring at the blubbering idiot who had yet to understand how sensitive a toddler can get when they are insulted, I wonder what would happen if I summoned falcons to tear into him. Or I could just set him on fire. I glared harder at the man, holding back my magic from making him explode. If I didn't have this stupid dress on, I would have done so. Mikoto is a hell of a lot scarier than a group of men hiding from their wives and daughters.

"We could pass it off as a sleeping kekai, one that replaces the need for chakra." Itachi finally spoke. Somehow, I don't think this 'kekai' will be good for me in the short run. I have the strange feeling that I'm going to want Itachi's head on a pike and this body to feed to the falcons.

"Sakura-hime-sama! No, put that vile thing down before you are tainted by it!" One of the oldest members of the group cried as he, as well as the rest of the room, finally noticed what was in my hands. "Who allowed Sakura-hime-sama to be anywhere near this piece of fi-"

"So, what'd I miss when I was gone, Itachi?" Itachi merely took the vibrant glossy book from my sticky hands and handed it to Shisui who went from a look of boredom to a look of interest to a look that I had to jab the juice sippy cup into my mouth to keep from laughing at, as his por-piece of literature was handed back to him. "My book..."

"SHISUI!" Maybe I should have somehow warned the boy before he took off that his belt wasn't on all the way which usually resulted in his pants falling do-

"PERVERT!" Shisui had someone managed to make my magic use a summoning charm without my knowledge as he flew straight back into the room. His eye was bruised as he was caught by the same elderly man who made him run in the first place.

"Come, Itachi. Let us take Sakura-hime to Ibiki as requested. Hokage-sama will not allow anything to happen to his student's child, adopted or not. We have more important things to do that want the clan squabble over a book."

"Like starting her physical training?"

"Yes. Training her." My look of disbelief was met by a sneer. Uh-oh. I have a feeling that I would have wanted to stay with Mikoto today and take pictures with Sasuke instead of going wherever these two are taking me. "Itachi, I believe she is trying to clear her digestive sy-"

* * *

With a large pop, I apparate away from the two weird males who wanted to take me to Ibiki, who sounded like someone I don't want to meet and to start training. The only useful thing I've seen so far is the fireball the size of Mini Thin-Itachi. I looked around in confusion as I tried to guess where I was. Wait, this looks like, "Sakura-chan?"

Damn it. Why am I in the old man's office? Why? Why couldn't I be in a dragon's lair or falling from the skies? Why am I here of all places? I pouted, but mentally I was screaming. "No Sakura-chan."

"You're not Sakura-chan?" I nodded my head. Might as well distract the man and pop out when he doesn't notice it. It appears as if the old man had a different agenda as he picked me up, a hobby of most adults and Itachi, and put me in front of him. I noticed that I didn't just pop into anywhere in his office. I popped onto his desk. "Then who are you?"

"Sakura-hime."

"Is this her, Hokage-sama?" I stiffened. There was another person here? Since when? Where? Why do I sound like Moody all of a sudden? Who do I blame? Why, who else other than my stupid suspicious teacher who just drilled his habits into his students, 'constant valiance' indeed. I turned and the only thought that crossed my mind made me start hyperventilating.

He feels like Mad-Eye Moody.

"Calm down Sakura-hime, this is my friend. His name is Ibiki." No, it's not, it's Moody. And he is using some sort of glamour and a bunch of runes to cover his pirate leg and magical crazy eye. The old man pulled out a small ball and put it in my hands as I continued to watch Moody stare at me. "He wants to see if you can make this ball fly without touching it. You can do that can't you?"

"Hokage-sama, the child literally popped into existence. I don't think I even need to see anything."

"Now, now Ibiki," His name isn't Ibiki! It's Moody. Freakin' Mad-Eye Moody! Do you not understand plain English you lunatic? Oh, wait, no you really don't. "I remember when my sons used to poof out of existence and back in when they were younger."

"Sir, I highly doubt they were only a year old when they did this."

"Then, Sakura-hime is a gen-" I am not staying in the same room as freaking Mad-Eye bleeding Moody! Sonorous. I refuse to stay in the same room as him! Never! Ever again! The stupid magical eye that sees through all frickin' pranks and plans. Don't even get me started on the stupid Barty Crouch Jr. thing either.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 12 months old (March in Konoha)

Over the past month, it has come to my attention that people who wear masks as part of their lifelines are annoying. Actually, annoying doesn't even begin to cover how I feel about their presence. Not even when I was spying on Voldemort in the ranks of his death eaters, did it occur to me that people who wear masks were annoying. I mean, then it was more of a good thing for I didn't have to care if I was killing off a friend of the family or not.

I can understand the Golden Trio now. As their, well mainly Weasley's, reasons behind not trusting me with my hot and cold tactics. Thank god for Hermione and her ability to read between the lines. The man, or was this being a woman? Please don't be a woman, then I really have lost all respect for women in whatever dimension this is… Maybe I'll cross-dress as a male, I'm pretty sure Fugaku wouldn't mind as much as Mikoto-baa would. "Now, Sakura-hime, we just want to see you make this ball fly."

It was amusing to sit down for the first three weeks, watching the masked shinobi struggle as I refused to answer to anything except for Sakura-hime. Mentally, I snorted in disbelief. I started to sip the sweet peach juice that Mikoto gave me. The man pushed the ball in my direction, kneeling down to watch the tabletop very closely.

Now, I know this would be a surprise to this man, but he's known me for about a month and he still puts himself in ways of danger and humiliation. I kicked the ball straight into his face before giggling and smiling innocently at the other masked people who were trying their best not to laugh at the Stupidest Man in History. "Sakura-hime, what have I said about hitting me with this ball?"

"Again! Again, again! Again!" The man, I refuse to believe this species is a female, looked as if he wanted to smack me with his hand clenched into a fist. More snorts and coughs behind me, I listened to the man in front of me seethe like Draco whenever someone messed up his hairstyle. I gave an innocent look of glee, "Again?"

"No! No more, I joined ANBU to become a greater shinobi," Ah ha! I knew a female couldn't be as much of a dunderhead as this species. Triumph crossed my face before I went back to the sippy cup. An idea formed in my head, "Not to be stuck in a room with a baby who probably doesn't even possess a skill in her tiny body to even make anything move!"

Now, if I didn't have to deal with lunatics breathing down my neck or giving my teenage body leering looks, I might have given a damn about what he just said and reacted by watching his body writhe in pain under something horrible like the cruciatus. Fortunately for this idiot who is worse than Sasuke, I'm a bit more prepared to be interrogated.

I loosed the top of the sippy cup filled with peach juice, giving the ranting idiot a minute to calm down and apologize. I looked at the veins threatening to pop and decided that a minute was too long and I was being too nice. I stood up, gaining his attention with a very annoyed expression on my face, "Shush you."

The man had frozen with a look of anger turning into horror as the two behind us couldn't keep their laughter anymore and fell over each trying to breathe. You see, as I caught his attention by standing up, I threw the loosened sippy cup at the manhood area of the idiot. So I might have used magic to open the lid before it hit him and to react by making it actually seem like he urinated. It got me the results I wanted didn't it? I gave the man a smug look as the two behind us had finally calmed down, only to fall into their laughter as they say their frozen comrade.

The door slammed open and I had to fight the twitch that my body wanted to give off as I saw who opened the door. The two who were laughing quickly stood up and tried to pull off the old 'I wasn't laughing, I was doing my duty' routine that never works. The person who walked into glared at the two before telling them to go do the paperwork he 'gifted' them with and turned to examine the man who appeared to have peed in his uniform. "Ibiki-sama I can explain. This demonic bra-"

"Leave."

"Yes, Ibiki-sama." I stuck my tongue out at the lapdog as he walked out of the room when Mad-Eye look/act alike had turned around. I slowly pulled my tongue back into my mouth, shuffling back to the high chair I was sitting in previously, and yes, I was pouting the entire way.

==Flashback==

_"Sakura-chan?"_

_Damn it. Why am I in the old man's office? Why? Why could I be in a dragon's lair or falling from the skies? Why am I here of all places? I pouted, but mentally I was screaming. "No Sakura-chan."_

_"You're not Sakura-chan?" I nodded my head. Might as well distract the man and pop out when he doesn't notice it. It appears as if the old man had a different agenda as he picked me up, a hobby of most adults and Itachi, and put me in front of him. I noticed that I didn't just pop into anywhere in his office. I popped onto his desk. "Then who are you?"_

_"Sakura-hime."_

_"Is this her, Hokage-sama?" I stiffened. There was another person here? Since when? Where? Why do I sound like Moody all of a sudden? Who do I blame? Why, who else other than my stupid suspicious teacher who just drilled his habits into his students, 'constant valiance' indeed. I turned and the only thought that crossed my mind made me start hyperventilating._

_He feels like Mad-Eye Moody._

_"Calm down Sakura-hime, this is my friend. His name is Ibiki." No, it's not, it's Moody. As in Mad-Eye Moody who never trusted me and wanted to rummage through my head for memories to prove that I was lying about spying to the Light side. And he is using some sort of rune to cover his pirate leg and magical crazy eye. I was panicking about the Mad-Eye that I didn't notice the old man pull out a small rubber ball. "He wants to see if you can make this ball fly."_

_"Hokage-sama, the child literally popped into existence. I don't think I even need to see anything."_

_"Now, now Ibiki," His name isn't Ibiki! It's Moody. Freakin' Mad-Eye Bleeding Moody! Do you not understand plain English you lunatic? Oh, wait, no you really don't. I had learned the hard way that English here was gibberish, as was Latin. "I remember when my sons used to poof out of existence and back in when they were younger."_

_"Sir, I highly doubt they were only a year old when they did this."_

_"Then, Sakura-hime is a genius, Ibiki. Let's just let her-" If this old man thinks I'm staying here in the vicinity of freaking Mad-Eye bleeding Moody, he has another thing coming! Sonorous. I refuse to stay in the same room as him! Never! Ever again! The stupid magical eye that sees through all frickin' pranks but can't see through a magically sworn statement of loyalty!_

==End of Flashback==

I pulled it back in as I watched the man with a well-practiced innocent look that Padfoot had taught me that worked on everyone. Even worked on Mad-Eye bleeding Moody, though he never admitted it. The look that fooled everyone and anyone here and back when I was in the normal world, from politicians to death eaters to Moldevorts himself; the look of innocence that made you want to squeal and hug everything in arms reach.

"Cookie?" I held up a half-eaten, soggy chocolate chip cookie to the man, fully knowing that he wouldn't eat or touch the damn thing even if it could re-grow all of his missing hair. "Cookie yummy."

"No." I scrunched up my face and tilted my head. Was he saying no to the cookie or that it wasn't yummy? I'll have you know that I made your boys go to six different bakeries for cookies before being satisfied with cookies from the vending machine down the hallway! Wait, maybe that's why the cookie was so good; besides it was funny watching them all freak out because I was going to cry. Unfortunately, Shisui had warned them of my powers of crying.

But I had to ask, mainly because the people who made the cookie looked damn well pleased that I had chosen their cookies after seeing my smirk when the masked idiots freak out and run to Shisui who was waiting outside. "Cookie no yummy?"

He sighed as he placed paper and a pencil down on the table, "No, the cookie is yummy. Now you eat it."

"No share?" Now, you're probably wondering what I'm doing? It's called annoying the heck out of a certain person who is behind the black window in front of me. I can hear the screams of frustration and annoyance as well as two familiar sounds of laughter from outside the door.

"Now Sakura-chan-"

"No. Not Sakura-chan. Sakura-hime."

"Sakura-chan, it is very rude to interrupt."

"Sakura-hime."

"Sakura-chan, you are going to move this ball without touching it and I'll give you your toy kunai back." Ahh, so the man does know how to bribe a child correctly, unlike Mad-Eye Moody. Well, too bad for you, it ain't happening upgraded Moody. So bleh! "Sakura-chan, I just want to see if you can really make the ball fly without touching it."

"Not Sakura-chan. Sakura-hime. Sa-ku-ra Hi-me!"

A deep breath, "Alright, Sakura-hime."

I interrupted him by giggling at the facial expression he made when the word finally poured over his lips. I quieted myself at his glare, "Hai~"

"Just make the ball fly without touching it."

I glanced at the look/act alike Moody. Well, if that wants he wants? Who am I to refuse him? I picked up the baby book that Mikoto got me to entertain me and threw it at the ball hitting it at an angle to make it fly up and bop look/act alike Moody on the head. "Ball fly!"

The door banged open when the look/act alike Moody stood up. "Remember, she just a baby!"

I thought this was going on long enough though. It was fun to make fun of the people and all, but I was missing Mikoto and teasing Fugaku. "Sakura-hime, make ball really fly?"

Both men turned and looked at the young girl, with suspicious looks on their faces. Mentally, I was grinning. I was really showing a contemplating expression, "Sakura-hime makes ball fly and gets kunai back? Sleep with Mikoto-baa? Stinky old man no fun, Ita-chan more fun."

Outside the hallway, a loud snort was heard. I focused on the look/act alike Moody who nodded. I held out my hand, "Kunai pwease."

"Make the ball fly first."

"Need kunai to make ball fly." At this, both men raised an alarmed look.

"Why?"

"It's too big." Moody look/act alike sat down making notes. "Like, like, watermelon pretending to be cherries!"

He nodded and handed the kunai out that he had hidden on his person. I felt my magic soar when the focus was back into my hands. Eyes focused on the ball that he pulled onto the table, "**Alarte Ascendare**!"

"ITAI!" How was I supposed that the ball would fly up and smack someone who was hiding on the ceiling when I didn't know they were there in the first place?!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 13 months old (April in Konoha)

I really have to give it to the Moody copy-cat for his patience. I mean, he had told Fugaku, it is something else to actually call him by his name, that he needed closer observations. Apparently telling him that my magic, well not that I had magic because he didn't have magic nor knew what magic was… My magic was like a watermelon trying to be a cherry, it wasn't the best idea I've had in a while.

In other words, he threatened to move in and stalk me while annoying and upsetting the life of the Uchiha, in which I started to giggle hysterically at the thought that he could do any more damage than I could, or I was to move in with him during the weekdays for supervision and be returned on the weekends. Mikoto stated that if even a single hair was out of place, she would bring him to Hades' Gates.

Well, I'm going to assume that she meant Hades' Gates because she said she would be sure to make sure that he could not urinate without assistance or the ability to stand while urinating.

During the time that Mikoto was packing a couple of bags for me, Itachi decided to glare at him the whole time, as well as Fugaku, because Mikoto was in tears, and it has seemed Sasuke has started the trend of copying his brother and father in their company. He stopped immediately and started to talk gibberish the moment he saw me, leading me to bash him over the head with the stuffed raven that was nearby while glaring darkly at the stupid child.

So for the past three weeks, I've been living with the Moody copy-cat, who name I had learned to be Ibiki. Really. Like, his name means 'snoring'.

"So, you're just sitting around and watching her?" Silver hair that defied gravity, I wonder if he just stayed upside down for the beginning of his life for his hair to defy gravity. He wore a dog mask and was reading a distinctly familiar orange book. While I was coloring and scribbling over so documents that may or may not have had my name written on them with permanent ink, I tried to remember where I had seen the vibrant orange colored book. "You know you got conned into babysitting, right?"

"She's very intelligent."

"Right, intelligent. You do remember that you're talking about a baby who is only about fourteen months, right?"

"She has made fourteen ANBU break down and cry, sent five on errands they don't even know what to get, and she got a giggle out of Anko, you tell me what I should do," Ibiki said, shuffling papers on his desk. Was it my fault that I started crying to see what would happen to these big and scary ninja soldiers; conclusion? It was amusing.

He glanced up to be assured that I was still in the room, apparently, I successfully made him paranoid into thinking I'll disappear, which has happened a lot during the past month. "Uchiha's think she's a gift from the Gods. I think she just activated her kekkai, but seeing as she survived to be so close to the Kyuubi and how smart she is, I wouldn't be surprised. However, there is something that the Uchiha are hiding, or maybe just Fugaku."

"She's a fourteen-month baby." The dog man flipped a page in this book, a book that is really starting to annoy me. Where have I seen that book before? I've seen it somewhere.

"Fourteen ANBU." The mystery of the orange book aside, it was nice to find out that I still had to ability to use the forbidden dark curses and still had the mental capabilities of tearing apart a person's mind for memories. They should have known better than trying to poison my food, let alone Ibiki-Moody. " Three were captains."

There was only one person allowed to drive Ibiki-Moody up the wall.

And that person is me.

"That's not a solid argument seeing as most of them were emotionally unstable in the first place. I mean most captains are."

"Hatake, listen and listen well. These fourteen were the ones that needed to be evaluated under the suspicion of being traitors. Their minds are broken. Yamanaka Inoichi can't find anything out." He sighed as he shifted through the bright pink baby bag to pull out strawberry pocky, in which he had opened and placed on a plate. He picked me up and placed me on the sofa with a sweet snack. "There's also the fact that she got Anko to giggle and act like a girl. A normal girl, you should know the type real well, they coo at babies and giggles. Did I mention she giggled?"

"Biki-jii! Bath! Bath time!" Somehow, this body doesn't like to stay clean while eating. No matter how hard I try, even the simplest snack turns into a mess. I hate being sticky and dirty. I held my hands up to be picked up and bathed from this sticky yummy snack. "Bath! Bubbles!"

The silver-haired dog man looked up at Ibiki-ook/act alike Moody, "Did she just call you, uncle?"

Ibiki-Moody glared at dog man, picking me up and shifting me so none of the stickiness would get on his clean uniform. I mimicked his actions, glaring at him. Yes, still trying to figure out where in Circe's sweet name I saw that damn orange book! "You wanted a crack at her? She'll only answer to 'Sakura-hime.' Good luck, give him hell for me Sakura-hime. I need to sort out this mes-wonderful artwork you gave me."

Good save, good save, I'll make sure not to make anyone else go insane today, maybe. Depends on my mood I guess. "You want me to give her a bath?"

"She wants a bath and really you don't want her to cry. She can cry very loudly and make you deaf in ten minutes."

"Again, she's a fourteen-month baby, what's the worst she could do?" I gave dog man a typical Slytherin evil smirk. Ibiki-Moody shook his head and went back to organizing as the dog man picked me up to give me a bubble bath. Too bad for him, he had already signed his warrant. The bigger they are, the easier it is to catch them off guard. "Alright Sakura-chan, let's get you cleaned up."

"No Sakura-chan, Sakura-hime. I is Sakura-hime." I stomped my foot for an extra measure. I had to put him in his place. He wasn't above anyone else here to call me anything but Sakura-hime. It felt wrong so wrong to be such a brat, but it was refreshing to finally get to act like a child.

"Alright, Sakura-hime, let's give you that bath."

"No. You no Biki-jii. Biki-jii give bath. Stinky dog man no bath. Youse stinky." I wrinkled my nose at him. That part wasn't a lie. He really is stinky. I mean, you're trying to make me take a bath when you need one yourself? Please, you are going to have to make a better effort than that.

"Sakura-hime, I'm Inu-nii. Not Stinky dog man." He was whining. Like a child. He was really whining. I would – do dogs eat cheese? I glared at him as he poured half the bottle of the pink bubble soap into the warm water; well at least he's a smart stinky dog man. I mean, he's not completely stupid, I think.

"Stinky dog man."

"Muu, Sakura-hime, I'm hurt." Not yet you're not, but you just wait. The wrath of Uchiha Mikoto is said to be scarier than a slow torturous death. He moved to take off my shirt, I bit him.

Yes, I bit him. On his fingers, hard enough to draw blood.

"Ow! Sakura-hime!"

He really needs to stop whining like he's a flee-bidden mutt. I shredded my clothing, still glaring at him as he nodded and turned around to mix the bubbles and water together. I glared at his back, shivering silently as I turned around to shut the door. I froze when my hand was on the door. The Orange Book of Horrible Porn!

This man is a pervert! I'm in a bathroom, naked and ready to take a bath with a pervert. Oh hell no, I looked back at the pervert and to the hallway. The Marauder 'I have a plan' smirk slash with my Slytherin evil grin. "Sakura-hime, no!"

Of course, I bolted in my birthday suit giggling as I ran away from the man and apparated once I was far enough. They have another thing coming at them if they think I'm really going to take a bath with a pervert in the same room supervising me.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 14 months old (May in Konoha)

I have learned something of great importance. It is a breakthrough like no other since I have awoken to this strange land, gained a father, been left with the Uchiha... It is the vital key information that honestly makes up for all of the other horrible things that I've had to go through. This vital piece of information will be used to the fullest that I can.

**Mikoto-ba-chan is very scary**.

You don't understand. I have lied straight to Voldemort; the thing, yes thing not man, who can easily say two words to end my life without even flicking his damn wand. I'm getting off track.

"And, we have to get our Sakura-hime presents, don't we? We'll get you a mountain of presents to make up for missing your birthday because of the stupid, pig-head, inconsiderate males of our family and village. Don't worry, everyone is coming with us to get your presents, so you'll get everything you want."

What if I want to go back to the bedroom and hid from you? Can I do that instead? Can I pretty please do that in-At this moment, Sasuke, who has become much attached to my person, decided that he was going to cuddle with me and the Stupid Thing actually had a good grip on me. "Sakura-koi!"

The Stupid Thing listened to Shisui teaching him to call me that ridiculous name that makes Mikoto turn back into the Scary Cheerful Woman she really is, but he can't say onii-san or hahaue or chichiue, only 'Sakura-koi' and 'mine', "You two will look so cute together when you're older! My grandbabies will just beautiful!"

There is no way that I will go with that thing even if –What did she say? GRANBABIES? I'm fifteen months old! Your son is, he's not even one yet! Crazy woman-That's it! I'm in some sort of crazy alternate reality where everyone is abnormal and crazy! Shisui shoots fire the size of Itachi, Mikoto scares the dragon dung out of anyone, Moody is easily manipulated-And there are talking dogs! Like real talking dogs! They speak human! "Sakura-koi mine."

"No." Was that clear enough for you? Should I say it in my language too? Maybe, somehow you'll understand what the word 'no' mean-Is this karma? I mean, when everyone was trying and failing to make me comprehend the word, now Stupid Thing won't. "Not yours."

"Mine! Mine! Mine!" Picking up the closest thing to me, duly noting that it was a snake doll, I proceeded in my valiant attempts to choke the stupid bastard. I would have succeeded too! I would have finally made the stupid bastard understand! But that can't be what happens, right? I mean, that would have made my life so much easier if I just wished for Voldemort to fall over on his own sword or something to that matter.

"Sakura-hime! You aren't supposed to do that to your future husband!" Why is it that I get in trouble when it's not my fault, to begin with? He friggin' provoked me! You'd think he learned by now, but noo. Stupid bastard who doesn't listen to me damn it. Wait… Wait did she just say hus-Hus-I can't even say it. She did, didn't she? "That wasn't very nice to do to Sasuke, Sakura-hime."

"Not his." Laughter caught my ears as Shisui doubled over trying to stand straight. Next to him were Itachi and a pretty brown haired girl glaring between Itachi and Shisui. The girl had a red blob of paint on her shirt. She yelled at Shisui and kicked him in the shin and plucked a baby off the ground. "Ba-chan, Shisui. Want Shisui."

Mikoto looked towards her nephew and son and sighed, but I knew she would let me it was either she let me or I'd attack and start crying. "Alright, but stay with them okay, no going on adventures, Sakura-hime, or it'll be staying inside for a week."

I skipped over to a group of four and tugged on the pretty girl's pant leg. "Hey!"

"Hi! I is Sakura-hime." And of course, I gave her the adorable, you know you love me, I'm so cute look act that she started to coo and squeal at how adorable I was. I gave the Shisui a grin.

"You are just so adorable, I wish Kiba was this cute." What in the world is a Kiba and what is this supposed to mean to me? Is it a snack? Can I eat it? I just gave her a smile before I went to Shisui and hugged his leg. "Aww, she is so cute! Uchiha, you are so lucky! You get the cute little angel and I get the brat. That's not fair."

"Shisui, present please." This apparently woke up the preteen as he was gaping at the pretty girl who went on and on about how cute and adorable I was and how annoying this Kiba thing can get. He looked as if he was going to complain when Itachi picked me up and walked over to the stuffed animals. "Present?"

"Un. The perfect present." There is such a thing in a toy store? Is it a wand? Can I get a wand? All of this nonverbal wandless magic is making me very tired. Did you find me a wand? That would be the perfect present. Itachi's eyes survey the dolls in front of us. You said perfect present, none of these are wands. He placed me down before quickly grabbing a STUFFED WEASEL! What am I supposed to do with a stuffed weasel? I looked closely at the stuffed thing before looking at the idiot who thought a stuffed weasel was supposed to equal the greatness of a wand.

Seriously! This weasel, which was dressed in shinobi attire, had red hair and a stupid smile on his face. The doll, which was equipped with shuriken, had blue eyes that held amusement. This thing was a quiet Ron Weasley with weapons. I sniggered as I remember the Ron Weasley that wouldn't say anything near me for weeks in the second year after I had rescued Potter and him from the Forbidden Forest before I was petrified.

It was a good present, not perfect but –Is that a Harry Potter fox? I quickly grabbed the fox, without dropping Weasley. Inspecting the doll very closely, from the messy black hair that wouldn't be tamed to the emerald eyes that hid behind glasses; I had found Harry Potter as a fox stuffed animal. Now all that's left would be to find Hermione and I'd have the complete Golden Trio of Gryffindor. "There's the belated birthday girl… Sakura-hime, what's wrong?"

I shook my head as I remembered that if I didn't pull the stupid books from the library at my birth home then I wouldn't have found the forbidden charms and potions to multiple one's soul and create a carbon copy for it, I would be with the Trio. Laughing and smiling, getting them to see my memories and notes and everything would have been fine. "Anko, what did you do to the girl?"

"Stuff it, Kakashi. I found her like this, gripping the two stuffed dolls like it was her life and crying." Anko picked me up trying to glare and rant at Stinky Perverted Dogman while trying to calm me down. As I blinked to calm down I found her, I found a cat stuffed doll holding a thick scroll with bushy wild brown curly hair and brown eyes. I had found the Golden Trio.

* * *

"Is she really sleeping next to Sasuke without trying to kill him?" Uchiha Fugaku was the head of the Uchiha Clan, head of the Konoha police, and head of his family. He wasn't stupid when he saw the calculating eyes of the tiny seven-month pink-haired baby, he wasn't stupid enough to ignore how often she would disappear and reappear with a knowing smirk on her face, how angry she was with his youngest whenever he would try to lay claim on her person; he knew that there was more to Haruno Sakura than what everyone assumed.

"Isn't it amazing? They're going to make the cutest grandbabies ever! With Sasuke's hair and Sakura's eyes, ooh, I just can't wait." Fugaku had suddenly started to hope if they were to marry in the future that they would gain Sakura's brain as well. After all, staring at the ebony black stuffed doll that Sakura had picked out once she stopped sobbing over the other three, which she also picked out a dollhouse equipped with other red-haired blue-eyed dolls, she had clung onto the ebony black doll that he had chosen. "I'm glad you chose her doll, dear. She loves it, started stroking it when she was sitting in the garden."

"It's only fitting to give her a symbol of our Clan." Sakura unconsciously gripped the ebony crow that was wearing an uchiwa fan closer to her small body as Fugaku closed the door after Mikoto and he decided to retire for the night.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 15 months old (June in Konoha)

here are many things that I find myself being grateful for in this world. A family that loves me, people who already fear my 'God-given skills,' and embarrassing simple beings who fall into the previous two categories. After hearing Shisui tell Itachi and Sasuke that he wouldn't be caught singing a song that played every day on the television, I was obviously determined to make him sing the song... In public. "Sakura-hime, I don't think I should be singing that song here, in public, where everyone can see and hear me, in public."

Even if you say it with a Lockheart smile on your face, my eyes narrow in anger as I remember the annoyance I had to suffer from in my second year. How the hell did women fall for him? I mean, yeah he's rich, but man is he stupid. Oh, wait... Never mind, it makes sense now. "Want. Song. Now."

"Shisui, just sing her the song or she'll cry and screaming- we're not even half a kilometer away from the Police Station where Fugaku-sama is on duty right now. Do you really want to risk that?" Shisui flinched as he looked at his hands, clearly debating with himself if it was really worth public humiliation. I smirked, as he looked up determined not to sing the song. This is why I like tormenting Shisui. Of all the babysitters, Mikoto leaves me with, he is more of the satisfying. I wonder how quickly he'll fall this time.

"You don't know the song she wants."

"Kangaroo song. Kangaroo Song. KANGAROO SONG!"

"She wouldn't want you to sing the 'kangaroo song' that comes on at three o'clock every day with the huge kangaroo that sings and dances, by any chance?"

"You know it? Then you can sing it!"

"You're kidding me right? Sakura-hime wants Shisui to sing and dance to the kangaroo song, she doesn't want ugly old me to-" I grabbed him by his cheeks pulling his face down to mine with a very annoyed look on my face. With my eyes locked in with his, I enunciated all phrase that seemed to annoy the curly-haired shinobi.

"Kan. Ga. Roo. SONG!"

"Sakura-hime, it's two o'clock. If you wait an hour you can watch your Kangaroo song with Sasuke." You're going to sit me in the same area as that godforsaken fool while I scheme ways to make your lives throughout my childhood a living hell? I don't think so! Ah! Anko... Now, let's see if this works out then.

"There's my favorite princess-Sakura-hime, what's wrong? Aww, baby girl, don't cry." Two slim feminine hands plucked me from the table and twirled me around when my eyes decided they were going to focus I mentally grinned at the endless possibilities I could ensure to befall on Shisui and his partner. Light brown eyes stared at the tears that started to leak from my eyes, I thank every day in which my evil birth mother forced me to perfect the art of acting, especially being able to cry at any moment. Anko looked up and gave Shisui a flat look. "What the hell did you do this time, Uchiha?"

"I didn't do anything!"

"Kangaroo song. Want kangaroo song. Shisui no sing. Shisui yell. No like Shisui. Want baba." I mumbled as I made more tears leak out and hid into Anko's neck. I smirked as I hid my face. _Five..._

"You didn't do anything, of course, you didn't do anything," Anko growled. _Four..._

"If you want her to smile and laugh, why don't you sing and dance to the stupid kangaroo song!" _Three..._

_"I would, except she wants you to, but you're just a coward. Like anyone is going to say anything about you when they hear Sakura-hime giggling and laughing." Two..._

"Well, I'm not doing it! She'll just have to wait thirty minutes to watch the stupid show of hers!" _One..._

"Uchiha. Shisui. You will dance and sing. Or I will use and your eagles as new training dummies for Takashiro and me, got it?" Anko said very deadly. Everyone froze at her tone which made me wonder why everyone was afraid of Takashiro, I mean he's just so cu-I think I just channeled Hagrid! Takashiro was Anko's summon, he is a large black mamba. But he was just so playful and sweet with her after she petrified him. "I said, got it?"

Shisui and his friend's faces went paler than they did before when Mikoto found that they had lost me for a day. They immediately jumped up and started to sing and dance to the kangaroo song that Sasuke seemed so interested in. Focus their eyes were closed the entire time, so they never did see Anko sneak Sakura away in the nearby dango snack.

_I'm a singing kangaroo and I come from far away._

_I like to hop, hop, hop all day._

_Would you like to come and play?_

_We'll hop, hop, hop, hop, what do you say?_

_I go hop, hop 'cause I'm a kangaroo,_

_So get in my pouch and I'll hop with you._

_I go hop, hop while I sing my song,_

_Hop, hop, hop, hop, hopping along._

_I've got big feet that I use like a spring,_

_That's why hop, hop, hop is my thing._

_I like to hop and I like to sing,_

_Hop, hop, hop, hop, ring-a-ding-ding!_

_Come on, kids, sing along with the kangaroo!_

_I like to hop and I like to sing,_

_Hop, hop, hop, hop, ring-a-ding-ding!_

_Hop, hop, hop, hop, ring-a-ding-ding!_

_Hop, hop, hop, hop, ring-a-ding-ding!_

The two boys finished the song and dance only to find everyone, but Anko and Sakura in front of them, including Uchiha Fugaku who looked very annoyed at the fact that there was no pink hair genius with them. "You have ten seconds to find her and bring her to Mikoto, or else."

The pair had walked out they looked around for Shisui and his unnamed friend. Anko shrugged her shoulders as she headed to TI building, intent on getting lessons from Ibiki. She even had Sakura here to manipulate the poor man.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 16 months old (July in Konoha)

I really don't know what is going on here, but I'm not, I repeat, NOT liking this at all. The mob before me and the crying ten-month baby in an abandoned in the red district was something I thought I wouldn't encounter, then again... I'm in a village filled with people who think I'm touched by the Gods, AKA I have something they want so badly they'll go with worshiping me to get it. "Sakura-hime, please move. That thing needs to be erased before it can mature and understand its true strength."

"No." It's one thing to spank a child for doing something horribly wrong, but gathering a mob because the child has this odd red stuff leaking from his stomach when I do chakra exercises. That's just too different. I grabbed the stroller handlebar and was ready to apparate out of there. "Bad meanie no-hit my Sunshine."

I should probably explain by going back to a little bit before this started. You see, every 28th day of the month, I freak everyone out by disappearing for the day and exploring every inch of the village until I get caught and dragged back to the Uchiha District. Strangely, I never get lost. Perhaps the body I'm in has a photographic memory. I was exploring the Red District moments before dawn because I knew that no one would be up because of their... uh... Partying? Celebrating? Jobs? Stupidity?

Anyways, I knew that someone from the family would notice I was missing which lead me to explore the red district without worry that anyone would find me. Sticking to the shadows and alleyways, even if the invisibility spell worked to hide me from civilians, it apparently didn't do jack about the shinobi of the village. Stupid Itachi with his freaking chakra senses. "Just rot away like a good demon brat and give our village peace!"

A garbage dumpster slamming and a soft whimper made me focus on the bright alleyway entrance. A woman with a bitter sneer on her face ran from a dumpster. Demon brat? Like an actual demon? And the woman threw the child into a dumpster? Memories of a mission of being an ambassador to the DADA towards the darker species made me cringe.

I don't even want to know what would happen if a demon council member ever found out that one of their kind had been thrown into a dumpster and left for dead. Using magic to open the dumpster lid, I only found trash and more trash. Landing in the dumpster and closing the lid, I took out my trusty kunai. "_Lumos._"

I looked around the dumpster wondering if the lady wasn't really talking about a real demon child, but hey, I wasn't going to be the one they blamed when their world was being violently painted with their blood if the lady did throw a child in here. A moving bundle of cloth made me think that these people of this village really wanted to be given a violent makeover by a Demon without a fashion sense.

Teary blue eyes and a tan face stared back at me as I lifted the male up to inspect any damage that would need to be fixed pronto. The male giggled as I looked at both sides of his head, I placed my finger on one of the six whiskers like scars the male had and was shocked that they were there for about ten months. A mere few hours after he was born did the whiskers appear on his face. The male grabbed the finger and tried to put it in his mouth.

I twisted the finger that the male had grabbed and turned him over to make sure these idiots didn't rip off his tail-**WHERE THE HELL WAS HIS TAIL**? Backing away from the so-called Demon male, I started to panic. These idiots ripped off a Kitsune's tail, somehow made his ears look like human ears with no hair, and gave him whisker marks when he was born for some reason. The male giggled as he looked at my panicking expressions.

**HIS PACK WOULD COME AND ****_SLAUGHTER_**** ALL US**! I had to hide him, I had to hide him away from the world and make sure no one found him ever again. I heard the male's stomach grumble for food and watched with horror as he started to try to suck on the trash.

No, I take that back, his pack would come and slowly and painfully take us all apart millimeter by millimeter until there is no one and nothing can tell the difference between animals and humans.

Snatching the trash away and picking up the male, I apparated out of the dumpster and forgot the reason why I didn't like apparating with other, as I landed on my bum with the teary-eyed boy in my arms. I hid Naruto into my new room and charmed the blocks to float around him to keep him entertained as I snuck down to the kitchen and smuggled one of Sasuke's bottles up. "So the Demon Brat disappeared? That's good news, what would be better news, Shisui, is if you knew where SAKURA WAS!"

I didn't think that even this village would have an avatar, especially one so young. I opened and shut the door placing a 'Notice Me Not' charm about the room. I gave the male the bottle and looked about the room. If they hate an avatar this young, what would they do when they found out that I wasn't touched by the gods? Who am I kidding? These shinobi are as fickle as purebloods. The male finished off the milk and snuggled into the bed and start to slip off to sleep.

I couldn't stay in this family if that was the way that the head of the family thought. Roughing it out on the streets or staying in a secure house, either way, I wasn't going to be killed by an angry Demon sent by their council because these idiots couldn't tell a demon child from an avatar. They might think that they can hold their own against a demon, but I sure as hell am not going to try and test it. I sighed as I started the usual spells and charms to make everything I need fit into a small bright pink backpack.

And this brings us to where I am now. In front of a mob, tempted to start flinging killing curses left and right. "Sakura-hime, please listen and move away from the-"

My eyes narrowed as the man started to advance towards me. I pulled out my kunai and started to back my sunshine into the wall. As the man came closer I pointed the kunai at him and watched with emotionless eyes as he, and the mob who were coming closer, fall over bleeding out. I looked up and gave the ANBU cheeky smiles as they were watching the scene. "Hyena is coming we have to make sure that they don't leave."

A poof appeared at the entrance of the alleyway. Silver-gravity-defying-hair made me smile, so I squealed out a loud, genuine happy cry, "Stinky dog man!"


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 17 months old (August in Konoha)

"There are thirty civilians dead, in broad daylight, and you're telling me that the person who killed this group is Haruno Sakura, the charge of the Uchiha Clan, the only survivor of being close contact of Kyuubi? The toddler is only a year and a half old, Hokage-sama!" There were only some bit and pieces of the conversation that 'Hokage-sama' and the other old people and not so old people were having in the other room. I was too busy watching Sunshine. One of the three ANBU operatives that I was not familiar with thought to come closer to bring me away from Sunshine. I glared the operative down, growling as the stupid idiot decided to have a retard moment and come closer.

"Baka get your butt over here now."

"Uchiha-sama wishes that Sakura-hime be as far as the demon brat as possible. I'm merely listening to the concerns-" The Uchiha ANBU operative was flung away from me and Sunshine as I started to pelt him with sharp and heavy objects from the Hokage-sama's desk. Objects that were blocked by the ANBU operative scattered the ground as he panted for his breath. Slowly, but steadily, the objects that have been scattered begin to raise as they started to pelt him again.

"This answers so many questions." It was the pebble that sent ripples through the calm pond, objects hit the ground as I stared at people in the doorway. I looked back at Sunshine's sleeping face and then back at the small crowd at the door. "Apparently, under the control of strong emotions, Sakura can control her gifts very well. Is there anything else you can do, Sakura-hime?"

I cursed myself but stood taller in front of Sunshine's sleeping form. An old man or not, Sunshine was not going to get hurt by anyone ever again. If they even think about hurting him, I'll crucio them until they are nothing but an empty shell. Itachi entered the room with a chuunin vest on, a very confused look on his face when he observed the staring contest between the crowd and me. "Chichi-ue? What is Sakura-hime doing?"

"The demon brat-" A very sharp kunai from the Uchiha ANBU operative's holster found itself against Fugaku's neck. I growled loudly to get their attention, but nothing works the way I want it to. If it did, I'd be in hell paying for the sins against everyone. "Sakura you get this kunai away from my neck this instance."

"No. My Sunshine. Mine. No demon brat. Mine. My Sunshine."

"Sakura, I said to get this kunai away from my neck. That means now. Ginko, get Sakura away from that child."

"NO." A thin line of blood appeared where the kunai was. The scattered objects started their raise, poised and ready to attack. "My Sunshine."

The standoff would have been amusing if I wasn't trying to protect an infant avatar from the stupid power crazy people of the village. It would have been amusing if I was staring at the person who I trusted with my well-being. If it hadn't been the person I wanted to have as a father figure, because his devotion reminded me so much of my own father. "Ginko. Now."

A bright light surrounded me and Sunshine, I glared at 'Ginko' as he approached and watched with a sadist glee as he bounced away from the light and slammed into the wall, knocking himself out. "No touch my Sunshine poopie head."

"Hokage-sama we haven't found Naruto-WHA?" I might have flung the unconscious body of Uchiha Ginko at the man who poofed into existence. Oh, crud... It's Stinky Dog Man, er, I mean cyclops, Hyena! I mean Hyena! Hopefully, he doesn't read thoughts like I thought he did, I winced as Hyena's eyes landed on me in a defensive stance in front of Sunshine. "You mean, he's been here... The entire time..."

"Sakura, you will remove this kunai and come here now." Remove what? Oh right, I still have a kunai pressed against the head of the house I'm staying with. Yes, I do believe I am becoming suicidal. A giggle behind reminded me of how this all started. I'm suicidal, but I ain't looking for the Demon Council to come and redecorate the earth with my blood and entails because you all decided that an avatar suddenly equals a demon.

"Nuh-uh. My Sunshine." I saw a sneer as I looked Fugaku in the eyes. A look of disbelief settled in them as he remembered how stubborn I could be when I wanted something. Unfortunately, he's an Uchiha, meaning he has to have the last say or some piece of the sky will fall down and make them show emotions in public. "Mine."

"He is not a sunshine and he is certainly not yours." Itachi sighed as he stood behind his father. Itachi knew how stubborn I was, it is probably the only reason why I haven't said his name yet or given him a nickname. The boy is an emotionless prick. Nothing fazes him! Nada. Zip. I gave Fugaku a look that made the Hokage-sama snort and Fugaku's eye twitch. I tried to mimic Mikoto's 'You will do as I saw or SUFFER the consequences.'

"My Sunshine. I say so!" I could have sworn I heard a snort come from Hyena, but that would be impossible... 'cause Hyenas don't snort. They just laugh, really annoyingly. This Hyena giggles really annoying when he's reading his porn. Focusing back to Fugaku and my staring contest I narrowed my eyes and the objects that were scattered all over the office rattled on the ground. "Be I say so!"

Yes. There was a stomp at the end of that to emphasis my claim. I didn't know why these stupid males thought they were going to win. They can either do it on their free will or I'll make 'em do it. Fugaku's eye wouldn't stop twitching as I took it as a sign that I won and my Sunshine would be some-what safer in this so-called village.

* * *

After the Uchihas, Sakura-hime, and Naruto Uzumaki left at twilight. Sarutobi Hizuren and Hatake Kakashi, AKA Hyena, were left in the office. With a dazed look on his face, Hyena faced the Hokage. "Did Sakura-hime get Naruto-kun into Uchiha protection with a staring contest and a 'because I said so,' Hokage-sama?"

"That girl is going to be a force to deal with when she's older."

"I pity the fool who has her on his genin team."

"I pity you."

"What? Why?"

"You are her ANBU guard; saying that, any mess she makes, you have to clean up."

"Of course, Hokage-sama, but Sakura-hime doesn't make big messes. She only-"

"And you can start with my office."


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 18 months old (September in Konoha)

This week had to be the worst week ever. There is no comparison. Mikoto patted my head as she stood up to talk to Shisui, "We'll be right back. Naruto-kun is taking a nap with Sasuke-chan. Hyena is just a call away. Sakura-hime still hasn't gotten over her constipation. So watch her carefully whenever she goes into the bathroom."

Yes. You heard correctly, I have not pooped in a week. I glared at the ground. Shisui sighed and he ruffled my hair, "Yes, Auntie. Although, I feel like a pervert. I guess you'll just have to give Sakura-hime to me when she's older. ITAI! Auntie, that hurt!"

I stomped back into the playroom where I stay with Crow-Snape and Ferret-Malfoy. "It's not fair. I want to go poop dang it. If I didn't have to deal with stupid nosy girl-crazy boys I'd just make a potion."

I picked up an ebony brush and started to brush Ferret-Malfoy's tail. The only thing that Mikoto and Fugaku, who is starting to scare me by how concerned he is of my pooping problem, have not tried... The Hospital. "It's okay, Sakura-hime, it'll come out when it wants just have to wait."

Saying it like that makes me start to think that my poop is alive you dunderhead. You know, just for being a dunderhead, I'm going to make you wish that you never got out of bed today. I started glaring at him, if it was any other moment and I didn't have the need to poop, I would have been laughing mentally.

Shisui panicked and started looking through the baby books that Mikoto had in the playroom. Frantically skimming the pages of one of the thicker books, Shisui eyes widened. "Look, Sakura-hime, it says if you eat applesauce you should be able to poop. Why don't we get you some applesauce?"

* * *

Apparently, 'get some applesauce' that wasn't in the kitchen, at this point I glared at a poor twig when he told me that it might have caught aflame-Shisui decided that everyone needed to leave the house and go to the market place. In which, Shisui had to stop and ask every remotely pretty female where he could find some applesauce for his adorable cousin, and yes I started glaring at Shisui saying quite loudly that Shisui didn't need to flirt with everyone to figure out that applesauce was sold at the market and the market who nowhere close to the bookshop.

And obviously, I don't have any luck this week. There was this old lady who had a grandson, who was younger than Sunshine and his head looked like a pineapple, and he wouldn't eat anything BUT applesauce. He wasn't even like Sunshine or Stupid. He looked very lazy at everything and nothing excited him. The grandmother gave Shisui the applesauce and asked if it wouldn't be a bother to have a play date. Of course, I didn't care as long as Stupid and Pineapple left me alone to eat my applesauce-which Shisui was determined to place in the baby bag and not give his 'adorable' cousin.

So here I was three hours later, sitting in the bathroom of the grandmother of the pineapple, straining until I felt like I was purple in the face, screaming through gritted teeth "Come on poop-poo! Come oooouuuuuut! Come on, come on! Poo-poo, come out of my bottom!"

* * *

Grandmother of the Pineapple and the Mother of the Pineapple told Shisui that maybe I should go see a doctor. They kept talking to the doctor in hushed tones but I swore I heard the words 'rectal suppository.' If only I was smart enough to run away then, but it doesn't matter now. Now, I'm going to make these people who don't care for Sunshine being an avatar like me one way or another. "Mr. Doctor sir, can I poop now? Mr. Doctor? I want to poop now."

Not even ten minutes later and the two women standing at the door poorly attempting to hold in their giggles as Shisui tries to shush me. Of course, I want them to like me and I needed to keep my promise to make Shisui wish he never got out of bed today. "I think I can poop now. Shisui, I'm going to poop now."

"Sakura-hime, if you don't be quiet and wait until the pretty nurse comes back and tells you that you can poop, I'm going to find two poop hole plugs. One for your mouth and the other for your butt."

"You can plug a poop hole?" I heard clanging and people falling down and a lot of laughter. I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing. Shisui looked very much like Fugaku with his eye twitching and his fist clenching. "Is that like plugging a toilet?"

Forty minutes of Shisui slowly explaining a poop hole plug, the nurse finally came back and said that it was alright for me to use the bathroom. "But I don't need to poop now."

Shisui plucked me off of the bed and sat me on the toilet and we both listened. It was very disturbing that he was standing in the bathroom watching me poop. I looked up at him with a hidden impish look in my, now, widened eyes. "Shisui! Shisui! Hurry, get the poop hole! It won't stop coming out! There's a crack or something!"

* * *

"Sakura-hime, why are you bouncing up and down?"

"I need to go potty, Shisui. I need to go potty now."

"You just went potty at the hospital."

"That's pooping, this is pottying. And I need to go, now. Like, now now or I make uh-oh."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 19 months old (October in Konoha)

Fugaku stared at his family as they looked everywhere but at him. Mikoto wouldn't give him As he looked at his family and the two additions that he wouldn't ever admit that were many bright additions to his household. The blond who looked like his wife's best friend's husband, he is without their confidence. "Neigh! Neigh! Sakura-hime has arrived."

"Shisui, remember what the doc-SAKURA-HIME WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?" Fugaku blinked at Mikoto as he looked over the devil-child who changed everything about his secure family. The rosette child was wearing overall shorts and a t-shirt. She had her hair in pigtails. Fugaku mentally flinched as he thought she looked cute. He wouldn't admit to that under threat of disembowelment and death because it seems to make the young girl's behavior worse on some days for she knows that Mikoto will let her get away with it. "She needs to go to Morino-san today."

Fugaku sighed as he looked to his nephew. Stiff body, finger pointed at his person, and his mouth gaping open; Fugaku raised an eyebrow. He was impressed as he remembers how long and tiring it was to dress and groom the devil-child. Yet his nephew was able to dress, groom, entertain, and bring the child down for breakfast on time. The girl covered her mouth and hid her face.

But his nephew's actions were too early to comprehend in the morning. Enough was enough, "What's wrong Shisui?"

"O-o-o-ojii-san. Mirror." Realizing that it was too early to comprehend his nephew and family's actions. He rose and walked to the bathroom. He froze in shock. There it was across his forehead. Attempting to use genjutsu to cover it up, he sighed as he walked out.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He was going to try and forget the fact that he had the words 'おなら頭' written in what seemed to be permanent ink on his forehead[おなら頭 means 'fart head' in Japanese]. Shisui and Itachi shared a look, silently telling the other that he should speak up. "Mikoto, you would happen to see the seal prototype permanent ink I brought home yesterday did you?"

Shisui froze in Fugaku's vision. "Shisui?"

"Sakura-hime, might have played with it... and then we had to go to the doctor because obaa-san thought she swallowed some... When we returned home, I couldn't find it..." Fugaku started to place the pieces of the puzzle together. Standing up abruptly, Shisui jumped back with Sakura still on his back.

"Shisui-horsie gallop? Neigh, neigh! Weeee~"

Okay, I'll admit. Drawing on Fugaku's face was a bit much. But seriously, it wasn't my fault that I looked for the permanent marker.

* * *

Alright, maybe it was my fault.

But I had a good reason. I looked up as to look at my masterpiece which sent me into another fit of giggles. Maybe writing the words 'onara atama' was going a bit far. Snickers from masked ANBU greet us as we pass them sent me into another fit of giggles. I jumped as Fugaku opened Ibiki's door with a force that would have sent another into a mess if they were blind to the killing intent that Fugaku was giving off.

"Onara atama? I thought you Uchiha's didn't have any pranksters." Fugaku glared at Ibiki as the man only smirked.

"Biki-jii-san! Sakura-hime smart. Sakura-hime write." Ibiki looked from the fuming Uchiha with red spinning eyes to me and back again. Clutching his forehead as he slid down and remembered exactly why he wasn't going to let Anko drink near a baby ever again. "Anko-baa-san called Hyena an onara atama! Sakura-hime has practiceded a lot."

The two men looked at each other before groaning as rookie ANBU outside were running around with genjutsu over their masks. The words 'orana atama' would never quite looked at the same in ANBU or the Uchiha police corps, I smiled as the men growled when Anko walked in the door with a stack of papers. "Anko-ba-chan promised to tell me another. I wanna know."

Papers spew on the ground as Anko fell to the ground in laughter, trying her hardest to stop laughing at a Clan Head and to assure her life that she would continue to live as she looked to be trying her hardest to even breathe. Fugaku groaned as he cursed the Gods rapidly, secretly hoping that I wouldn't pick up on it I bet, "Why wouldn't she be normal and just write on the walls with a crayon?"

* * *

When Ibiki and I returned to the house with Mikoto standing in the hallway to greet us. Ibiki quicken footsteps told me that he was very glad this name was over. It wasn't my fault now. Telling a Marauder something and then saying she should be normal is asking for something to happen. Like the words 'orana atama' written on every surface at ANBU headquarters. Ibiki mumbled under his breathe about killing Anko for teaching me the word. I kept my mouth shut on how I only saw the word once. "Ba-chan. I practiceded a lot. I wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote and wrote!"

It's a shame I couldn't do this in my old life.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 20 months old (November in Konoha)

"Oba-chan, strawberry please."

"Oba-chan, no stop! Tickle monster Oba-chan!"

"Oba-chan? Bed story?

"Oba-chan, more please."

"Oba-chan, Shisui doggie go bow wow."

"Oba-chan, Hyena go woof. Woofie here!"

"Oba-chan, Sunshine wake up."

"Oba-chan."

"Oba-chan!"Uchiha Fugaku was a proud Uchiha, head of the Uchiha clan and father to two strong sons. Not only was he the father of his strong sons, and he was also fostering a genius who attached herself to the Kyuubi jinchuuriki. Said genius who went out of her way to make sure that everyone knew she was attached to the blond jinchuuriki. Said genius who had genin afraid of her very name.

Said genius girl who refused to call him anything but 'you' for the past thirteen months.

Really he shouldn't feel upset about it. He should feel relieved. Imagine what would happen if the little girl called him 'Oji-san.' Mikoto would coo at the girl like she was an infant, she would call Itachi 'onii-san' or something to that matter. She would grow up and there would be boys who were pushed by their fathers to get her attention one way or another. Then there would be tears, crushes, heartbreak, and... dates with boys. If there is a kami out there, the girl will not ever call him 'Oji-san.' If she started, he would have to end it.

"Oba-chan! 'Uke did nasty! Oba-chan?" Fugaku looked up as Sakura ran past him in search of Mikoto. "Oba-chan? Oba-chan?" Fugaku sighed as looked back into the mirror, scowling as he read his forehead again. 'おなら頭' was still boldly written on his forehead. He had been covering it with his hitate. As he glared at the words, attempting to will them away, he felt a pull on his pant leg. "Where is Oba-chan?"

Although he wouldn't admit it, under any threats or death, he was jealous of Mikoto. Mentally smacking himself, he started to scold himself. "She is out."

"'Uke did a nasty. It's stinky. You change now, please." Fugaku decided then he wouldn't have minded hearing her say 'Oji-san.' At least it was better than hearing 'kimi' and it had some sort of respect to it. He was starting to doubt that the kami's gift would grant him his request. Fugaku allowed himself to be tugged by the rosette haired girl to the babies room. "Sunshine!"

The girl favored the jinchuuriki. Sasuke looked up to see Fugaku before his eyes looked to Sakura playing peek-a-boo with the jinchuuriki, a pout formed on his face. Fugaku sighed as he knew that his son would be one of the boys vying for her attention in a couple of years. Sakura would probably be the only girl Sasuke would say that didn't have cooties. She would be the only one who could get his son into an outfit for a formal occasion. She would eventually call him 'Oji-san.'

* * *

There was a feeling that Mikoto was purposely staying longer at Nara's household with the Nara wife to punish him for some reason. Did he forget a date again? "_No! Daddy! No!_"

Fugaku shot up from the tatami mats spilling tea over his reports. Running down the hallways before sliding the doors open of the children's room. Sakura's desperate voice calling out nonsense wasn't something that was ever heard before in the house unless Sakura was playing a prank. Fugaku eyes softened as Sasuke looked up from his crib and then back to Sakura's crib whimpering. "_No, daddy, no. You can't... You promised._"

In three large strides, Fugaku was standing over Sakura's crib where Sakura and the jinchuuriki rested. Sitting up and patting her head was the blond jinchuuriki trying to gently wake the crying older girl. "_NO! LEAVE HIM ALONE!_"

Picking up the girl, he held her awkwardly in his arms. He had never held a female child. Mikoto would often take Sasuke and Itachi out of his arms in fear that the awkward hold would somehow alert the infant and a cryfest would occur. He patted her back gently and he rocked back and forth. Kami be willing, the rosette would wake and never cry out in desperation like that again. "_You promised you wouldn't leave me..._"

"Shh, Sakura-hime, Oji-san here now. You're safe. Shh." Fugaku continued to rock the small girl in his arms as she cried out for someone. He couldn't imagine who the rosette was calling for, but he felt another twinge and she cried out again. "Shh, Sakura, I'm here. Oji-san here, no more tears baby girl. Shh."

* * *

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"But why?"

"Be- It would make Oba-chan very happy if you called me Oji-san."

"Okay, omae-Oji-san. I go now." Fugaku sighed as the rosette ran to greet Shisui and Itachi, his heartwarming as she called him- "Shika-chan! Let's go play!"

Shika-chan? It wouldn't be Shikamaru Nara. Shikaku wouldn't allow his heir to be called such a name even by Sakura. "As troublesome as this is coming all the way over here, it is nice to see that she hasn't ruined the place yet."

Fugaku eyes widened. Maybe he should have her homeschooled and under house arrest for the rest of her life. No male would ever know of her and then he wouldn't have to cover up any homicides or homicide attempts. He was sure that he could get Jiraiya on board with this plan.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 21 months old (December in Konoha)

"Sakura-hime," I puffed out my cheeks as I stubbornly held onto my Sunshine. 'Uke was holding onto the both of us crying with Sunshine a combination of the words 'no' and 'Sakura-koi'. "Don't you want to spend time with your chichi?"

"My Sunshine, too," I snuggled into the smaller body of my Sunshine. 'Uke screaming into the air, mimicking my words. Sunshine giggled before playing with the soft pink strands in front of him.

"My, too!" I puffed out my cheeks; if the only way that I make sure that my Sunshine comes with me is to drag 'Uke with us; then so be it. "My, too, Sakura-koi!"

"Stupid 'Uke, too, chichi," I grumbled as Mikoto-ba-chan giggled at the sight of my puffed out cheeks and 'Uke had calmed down beaming at me. "Chichi, Sakura-hime, Sunshine and Stupid 'Uke play; oba-chan go nap."

I watched chichi look up at Mikoto-ba-chan, studying the younger woman's tired face. Mikoto-ba-chan's eyes were wide as she turned away with a flushed blush on her face. I tugged Sunshine to chichi to carry him and then turned to 'Uke to hold out my hand. 'Uke had finally started walking, so running away from him a bit more difficult him during 'playtime'. "Chichi? Oba-chan tired. Stupid 'Uke and my Sunshine too little."

Chichi nodded his head and stood up. "Maa maa, you should take this time to rest, Mikoto-san. I'll take the little ones out for the day."

"Jiraiya-sama? Are you sure?"

"Sakura-hime want oba-chan sleep. Nap time." I tugged 'Uke over to stand by chichi, tugging on his pant until his hand had grabbed my own. I beamed up at him before I started to tug him forward. "I hungry."

"I am hungry, Sakura-hime. We'll be back around sunset, Mikoto-san, enjoy your rest!" He called out behind him as 'Uke started to babble in my ear. I was determined to get out of the Uchiha district and go home for the first time in thirteen months. Dang it, I wanted to take my nap in my own room.

"Whoa, slow down, Sakura-hime," chichi called as we started to get closer to the village.

"Chichi, why oba-chan house far from home?" I asked; it was as if the Uchiha family was isolated from the village itself. Flashes of lonely times as a Slytherin student at Hogwarts before I had found my purpose, "Chichi, why?"

Chichi had a very thoughtful look on his face, but he never answered my question. Instead, he took us through the village and settled the three of us within the safety of the house. The glares and negative intensity from the civilians of the village angered me; it was all forgotten when chichi had summoned a couple of toads that could talk to watch over us. Chichi slipped out of the house when Hyena had slipped in.

He regretted it when he slipped in two hours later to my glaring green eyes and crossed arms. I was going to show him. Leave me alone with two toddlers and an orange book reading ANBU who didn't know the first thing about watching children, and not expect punishment? Ha!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 22 months old (January in Konoha)

"Sakura-hime wants this one!"

Hyena sighed as three bratlings looked up from her position on a giant king-sized bed. Jiraiya decided that his Sakura-him was big enough to be out of her toddler bed. And, her toddler bed was much too small to have three tiny toddlers, and his pack to sleep on. As Sakura has stubbornly decided that whenever Hyena was watching the bratling, she got to get puppy cuddles. Telling her no had ended in a temper tantrum that alerted the patrolling ANBU, who then went and tattled to Hokage, who ordered Hyena summon his pack.

The pack that was all too happy to give the bratling puppy cuddles after Sakura-hime taught them how to handle puppies. Like no pulling on them, how to scratch behind the years, and to give treats while Hyena wasn't looking. He had to run around with his pack more often because of all the spoiling that the bratling where doing. 

"Sakura-hime, don't you want the pretty princess bed?" A flash of light erupted his line of vision when it cleared Naruto and Sasuke was laughing at him. Sakura's arms were crossed and she was pouted. He looked down and cursed mentally. His ANBU uniform that was once black was now sparkly pink, he flexed his arms to determine if it was the glittery sparkle, and choked on a whine because Sakura-hime was cruel: glitter was a bitch to get out of if she didn't change it back. Her ability to change the colors of objects was getting more and more controlled. "Sakura-hime, this isn't very nice. I like my black uniform."

"You have pretty princess colors. Sakura-hime wants this one."

Her favorite was to turn the uniform of her babysitters' to very girly colors because of one sexist comment or another that had pushed the young toddler's temper. Currently, he was sporting a very vibrant bold pink color that sparkled and had glitter all over... The color of Sakura's hair paled in comparison. "Want this one."

Really a toddler did not need a king-sized bed in her huge bedroom filled with her ever-growing plush doll collection, her dollhouse that she was precious over whenever he got near it, and her growing collection of kimonos and yukatas. "Sakura-hime, no. It's too big."

"Nuh-uh." Two echoes followed her exclamation. "Chichi, and Sakura-hime, and Sunshine, and Stupid 'Uke, Shisui and Tachi and pretty doggies, and Doggie."

Sakura, then turned and looked at the bed. "Sakura-hime, I am Hyena."

"Doggie."

Hyena looked up to the heavens when he heard Jiraiya called out, "Did you pick a bed, Sakrua-hime?"

"Maybe not big enough?" Sakura mumbled as she and the other bratlings started to yawn and fall asleep on the showroom bed in the public furniture store with salesgirls who were just cooing over how cute the bratlings were and how smart Sakura-hime was; and, honestly? Hyena was just done, he turned to Jiraiya.

"Yes, she has. Apparently, she picked the one she's on. Buy it now before she decides to make it bigger."


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sakura is 23 months old (February in Konoha)

He had wished that glaring at the date of the calendar would make the numbers disappear and everyone would magically forget about Valentine's Day. And what was Mikoto thinking when she made Sakura make honmei-choko? Further, why was Jiraiya not in the village to stave off some of these potential suitors?

Fugaku glared harder at the calendar posted on his office door, hoping that eventually the World and Time would understand and the day would magically be erased from history. "It's not that bad, Uchiha."

Ah... In all his anger at the date, Fugaku forgot he had the infamous Ino-Shika-Chou trio had invited themselves into his office to 'bond' with the man that had become fast friends with their children. "No, I think I agree with Uchiha on this one. You two have sons, you wouldn't understand a father's stress when it comes to boys and your daughter. And Sakura-hime is only his charge, as Jiraiya-sama is out of the village."

"He did leave specific instructions that Sakura-hime is not to gain admirers."

That was right. Yamanaka Inoichi has a daughter. Fugaku mentally snickered, he remembered when Sakura was introduced to the Yamanaka heiress. 'Ji-san, I already have dollies, I don't want another one. Chichiue said no more dollies.' It was the most testing hour, Fugaku had to excuse himself from the playdate to laugh in his office, two miles away from the garden the children were playing in. "You're worrying too much; Sakura is not even three years old. She isn't going to gain a boyfriend."

The door slammed open as a pink and white cupid hurdled herself into Fugaku's legs. "Ji-san, help! Oba-san is crazy!"

* * *

Strawberry pink locks and a white Sunday dress. To even make things worse, crazy auntie decided that Valentine's Day was dress-up Sakura-hime day with pink and white and WINGS! Yes. I have wings. Bright pink wings that were placed on like a book bag and itches and if I don't get it off soon...

I will throw a tantrum. A big, huge, enormous tantrum.

"Sakura-hime, aren't you forgetting something?"

An epic level of a tantrum that no one has ever experienced before!

"Oba-san is crazy, chichi! She try to make Sakura-hime kiss Stupid 'Uke and onii-chan!" Fugaku sighed as he picked me up and turned me around. Tachi had given her the most pathetic, depressing kitty cat eyes for her to call him onii-chan. It worked. I blinked as I saw Barbie's father, Shikaku, and a big-boned person. I blinked and tilted my head to the side. "Happy Valentine's Day Barbie's chichi, Shikaku-jii-san, and the person I haven't met before! Can you convince oji-san to hide Sakura-hime from Mikoto-baba? Please?"

Barbie's father didn't like that I said he was Barbie's father. He was twitching and counting to ten under his breath. Shikaku sighed and mumbled the word 'troublesome,' while the person that wasn't ever introduced was laughing. "Sakura-hime, why is Sakura-hime's oba-san crazy?"

I gave Shikaku a long, blank stare before answering the question, silently challenging him to question my logic after I finished. "She was muttering grand-babies and kept trying to make me kiss onii-chan or Stupid 'Uke. Oh and Barbie's hahaue are trying to get Barbie to kiss My Sunshine, but I hide him so nobody can find him."

"Why does it sound like she's saying stupid with a capital 's'?" Chouza asked his two teammates and childhood friends.

"Because she's been calling Uchiha Sasuke, 'Stupid Uke' since she could speak."

"And 'My Sunshine'?"

"Uzumaki Naruto."

* * *

"Sakura-hime, oba-san is gone now."

"She looked pis-angry." Fugaku's sharingan was not one to be messed with, after all, his first heir was already on his way into becoming one of the most famous in the Shinobi world. So when his spinning red eyes were focused on your person, you should quickly reevaluate what you were going to attempt or even what you were about to say. "Why was she angry, Sakura-hime?"

"Sakura-hime ate her honmei-choko." The only thing Fugaku didn't expect to hear was that statement. He excepted Mikoto to make Sakura give her honmei-choko to one of the boys, but for Sakura to eat her honmei-choko. Snorts were heard from Fugaku as he attempted to hold back his laughter. "But oba-san got really mad when Sakura-hime gave away Stupid's 'Uke choko and onii-chan's choko to the pretty boy with blind-seeing eyes and his daddy. Oji-san, the pretty boy was really sad. Sakura-hime doesn't like it."

The snorting fit ceased and the famous Ichi-Shika-Cho trio was on instant guard when the killing intent of a jounin in his prime washed over the room. Poor little Sakura simply looked at the three adults who were acting weird and then to her 'father.' "Oh, oh, oh! Sakura-hime made special choko for oji-san!"

Sakura hopped off the Jounin's lap and dashed to the corner where her 'Valentine's Day bag of Goodies and Choko' laid, the trio's eyes resembled small dining plates and they witnessed half of Sakura's body disappear into a tiny bag to pull out a box the size of her head. "Sakura-hime worked very, very hard on this choko."

Fugaku walked, much similar to a robot, over to the pink-haired child. His mind still revolving around the fact that his precious Sakura-hime gave the chokos that were meant for his sons to a Hyuuga boy. Opening the box, his hard heart softened as he rubbed the pink locks. "HA! Found you chibi-hime!"

Sakura was whisked away by Shisui who decided it was funny to watch Itachi chase him when he was running on rooftops carrying his 'baby sister who was not to be touched by such perverted filth.' Fugaku snapped the box shut when Chouza's fingers started to inch towards the Uchiha fan-shaped choko. Fugaku once again activated his sharingan as he calmly walked out of his office.

"Where do you think he's going?" Chouza asked his other two teammates.

"To the Hyuuga compound to find a poor boy who received a choko from his precious daughter and to warn the father that the boy is to not even think about going anywhere near his precious niece."

"How do you know that Shikaku?"

"Because that will be the fifth father he's threatened today," Inoichi responded enjoying the rich flavor of the tea that was offered by the normally stoic and distant Uchiha head.

"Fifth? I thought it only threatened the two of us."

"Nope, you forget he had Shisui's father, Uchiha Seiga in here when we entered this morning," Shikaku commented before settling into a more relaxed posture to nap.

"That still makes three."

"Rumors spoke of a very irritated Uchiha head yelling at the memorial stone this morning about how he would rather lock up his precious Sakura-hime before allowing her to give honmei-choko to his rival's son."

"You don't mean-"

"Pretty sure that Fugaku went to the memorial to yell at Minato's name for about half an hour this morning."

Chouza tilted his head, "Do you think he'll notice if I eat the choko?"


End file.
